The blinds are drawn, the sheets around me rough
A tall dark figure lies still beside me
The father of my children
I turn around trying to find the sleep that took me away
Away from the words that hurt so deep
Away from the reality that is bittersweet
Sleep derides me
New paint, bigger space, wallpapers, pretty curtains
A new place to call home, something of glee
Home, House, shelter, my soul requires nil
In a dark corner, bliss seems quite unreachable
Don’t ask me why I am unhappy
Because I know not
I do not ever really remember a time in my life
Where true delight existed long enough
I wish he could see through me
I wish he would try to figure this thing out
His snores begin to create an uprising
Disdain for his person looms
I attempt to form affection
I take a stab at recollecting our vows
My memory fails me, or does it?
For my children. For me.
For the future that might be better.
For our families.
For the prayers that must not go unanswered.
For a culture that needs to be preserved.
For a cycle that must be broken.
And wake every morning with a hope that I’ll find myself
That a love for him can blossom
That we can make it
That Happiness can find me
That I can be truly content, happy and fulfilled!