The blinds are drawn, the sheets around me rough

A tall dark figure lies still beside me

The father of my children

I turn around trying to find the sleep that took me away

Away from the words that hurt so deep

Away from the reality that is bittersweet

Sleep derides me

New paint, bigger space, wallpapers, pretty curtains

A new place to call home, something of glee

Home, House, shelter, my soul requires nil

In a dark corner, bliss seems quite unreachable

Don’t ask me why I am unhappy

Because I know not

I do not ever really remember a time in my life

Where true delight existed long enough

I wish he could see through me

I wish he would try to figure this thing out

His snores begin to create an uprising

Disdain for his person looms

I attempt to form affection

I take a stab at recollecting our vows

My memory fails me, or does it?

I’ll stay.

For my children. For me.

For the future that might be better.

For our families.

For the prayers that must not go unanswered.

For a culture that needs to be preserved.

For a cycle that must be broken.

For God.

I’ll stay.

And wake every morning with a hope that I’ll find myself

That a love for him can blossom

That we can make it

That Happiness can find me

That I can be truly content, happy and fulfilled!

 

 

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